Description of Work

Deepest - 2021 - DSLR Camera, Adobe Premier editing software, various microphones including Yeti Blue and a microphone phone jack - Not for sale

Artist's Statement

I have never been the type of person to openly talk about my emotions.
This whole piece is about my relationship with some of the toughest combinations of emotions; those centered around grief. In this video, I have laid out three distinct segments, each centered around one core emotion that I relate to in the cycle of grief.

The first segment is about anger. It contains footage of me breaking bottles and chunks of concrete with a crowbar, and contains audio of me screaming, yelling, and swearing. Despite the heaviness of the topic, I had a lot of fun, mostly just because I got to break things and vent a little of my pent-up energy from over fall 2020.

The second segment is about denial. It contains footage of me, but indirectly. Just my hands, my feet and low angles of me, in order to keep a visual connection to myself. The audio is me, deflecting any questions about my well-being, and making light of some serious situations that have happened to me recently that are not really funny in any way.

The last segment is about depression. This was the hardest segment to film, and to edit together with the audio. Not only is this the most personal segment, it is the most raw segment after anger. It is a visual portrayal of what my depression feels like to me and shows how I deal with it.

This piece is about me showcasing what my process of grief looks like, and how I look and feel going through it. I had many times in my life where I’ve been deep in grief, and I worked through all of those times to be here today.

If you wish to purchase any of these pieces, please contact the gallery director, Jacqueline Nathan (jnathan@bgsu.edu.)